While I was working for the NHS before leaving England, a friendly colleague of mine introduced me to Robin Cooper. Robin Cooper spent many years writing to various companies and clubs asking the randomest of questions in the hope of puzzled replies. Strangely enough he got quite a few so he published them all in a book called "Time wasters letters", a book I would recommended to anyone.
With this as my inspiration, and many hours to fill at work, I started to compose my own letters under the pseudonym of Bonaparde Goswold and was equally surprised when I started to receive responses. Below is an example of Mr B. Goswolds work and some of the replies he received.
Keyboards
Next week's chapter - Pet Costumes.
With this as my inspiration, and many hours to fill at work, I started to compose my own letters under the pseudonym of Bonaparde Goswold and was equally surprised when I started to receive responses. Below is an example of Mr B. Goswolds work and some of the replies he received.
Keyboards
Dear Sir/Madame,
After a recent discussion with my Feng-shui consultant, I was advised to ditch my computer keyboard as it was causing my polarity to be drawn dangerously close towards Yang.
Without thinking of the consequences, I disposed of the offending article and it has only made things worse. Each time I wish to compose an e-mail I now have to trawl the Internet and using my mouse, have to copy and paste each word individually. As you can imagine this is an extremely laborious and time consuming task.
I need a replacement keyboard ASAP as I get the distinct impression I'm starting to develop a Repetitive-Strain-Injury in my right wrist.
Do you stock stainless steel keyboards?
B. Goswold
P.s. To stress my frustration, It's just taken me 47 minutes to compose this email.
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Mr Goswold,
I dont want to sound like a sceptic or disrespect your beliefs... but... sounds like hogwash to me.
There are various keyboards that have different feels to them or are more ergonomically designed than others so it might be an idea to get a 'feel' for a few different keyboards to decide which one is most comfortable to you.
It is certainly totally non-practical and a ridiculous suggestion to use cut and paste your way through the internet.
Regards
Paul
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Hello Paul,
Many thanks for your quick response, you must already own a keyboard!
Since our last correspondence I've developed a real knack for Copy and Pasting but I think it would still be a good idea to get a new keyboard. I like the idea of an ergonomically designed one, I always like to do my bit for the environment. I went to 'feel' a few keyboards in PC world yesterday but I 'felt' like a bit of a weirdo, they all 'feel' pretty much the same to be honest, Plasticy.
While I was out I also popped into a piano store and 'felt' a few keyboards there. Do you stock anything in Ivory/Ebony?
B. Goswold
P.s. Only 32 minutes, told you I'm getting better!
- - -
Mr Goswold,
I'm starting to feel your wasting my time as well as your own. We stock a large collection of keyboards but they are all composed of plastic. I'm afraid I can not help you any further.
Regards,
Paul
Another World Computer Centre
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Hello Paul from Another World Computer Centre,Mr B. Goswold is becoming quite prolific and has over 10 active email conversations currently in circulation around the globe.
What a company name, you kept that quiet the first time! I can't find you on Google maps anywhere, which world exactly is your company located?
Quick question is the plastic recycled? I know how ergonomically friendly your company is.
B. Goswold
END of CORRESPONDENCE
Next week's chapter - Pet Costumes.
