We have now been in Ko Pha Ngan for 2 days and its quite apparent that we have landed in the party capital of Thailand. Once a month, on every full moon, this tiny Island gets filled by hoards of party-seeking youths from all over the world. I read yesterday that on average each full moon attracts around 10,000 people and in the same very informative article that Ko Pha Ngan only has 3000 beds. Which partly explains why Rory and I are having to snuggle up together each night, but its mainly because our budget isn't lavish enough to afford better.
The annoying side of this attraction is that the island entices a fair few members of a social group I have affectionately labelled "The 9 to 5ers". This nickname was developed after a conversation with a rather dislikable moron from Wales who said something along the lines of "I work from 9 to 5 in my sh**y little job, 5 days a week. Then at the weekends I go out, get right tw**ed and do it all over again on Monday". What a wonderfully fulfilling life that must be. Whereas I am yet to meet a fellow backpacker that is not friendly, welcoming and polite, my few encounters with the 9 to 5ers have been somewhat unpleasant. You can spot the average 9 to 5er from a mile away as they are normally sporting a textbook lobster tan, have a bottle of cheap European larger hanging from their lips, are tatooed around their nipple with their ex-girlfriends name and are driving a hired quadbike in nothing but a pair of Port Vale shorts. Its sad to say it but nearly all the members of this privileged group are British and I cant imagine they are doing an awful lot of good for our reputation abroad.
Yesterday we popped out to a noodle stall for tea and while we sat their a shaven-headed lout walked over and shouted in a northern accent "Do you do noodles?". As if the large wok, bean sprouts and Thai vendor wearing a Mr Noodle T-shirt wasn't enough of a hint. A little worried, Mr Noodle quickly nodded and pointed to the blindingly obvious noodle preparation apparatus in front of him. After the penny dropped the lout continued "Ok, ill have noodles and pork. Just noodles and Pork mind. None of that vegetable sh**e". Never before has it been so evident that a healthly diet provides a healthy mind. After Mr Noodle had set off cooking, the 9 to 5er then belched "I'm just of to grab some cigs", just loud enough for everyone in Thailand to hear, and departed in the direction of the 7-11. This gave Rory and I just enough time to leave the establishment without anybody noticing we were born on the same Island as the idiot and avoid further embarrassment.
